DIARIES OF TIRED YOUNG NIGERIANS

DIARIES OF

TIRED YOUNG NIGERIANS
the relationship saga

Iamdanielkemka

Ihechi Williams is from the Southern part of Nigeria, Delta State precisely but based in Lagos. He is such an ambitious single young man who is presently in his early 30s. Things have not been so rosy for him because he chose to create a unique part for himself which is not in alignment with the norm. 

Ihechi sees himself as an iconoclast, who wants to create a part that will end up making him a point of reference to everyone. He sees himself becoming the Nigerian version of the likes of Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg et al. They chose different parts for themselves though it was against the norm but they are currently celebrated all over the world. 

He has major interests in Capacity building, ICT and Authorship. He loves writing, thinking, making analysis and also loves watching movies and hanging out as well.

One might be asking, how come he has not been able to make anything out for himself, even at such age? He is single, not married and yet not rich, what has he been doing with his life all these while? That’s a very good question but before you judge him listen to his story.

Ihechi is from a polygamous home. His father is married to four wives. Although his father was a military man, he valued education so much. Therefore he grew up in an environment where he was told to go to school, get good grades, get a job, get married, give birth to children, retire and probably die; so he was mentally programed on how he should to live his life from childhood. He left his father or rather his father rejected him and sent him away at a very young age to start fending for himself so he had to struggle to complete his secondary school education.

He had a very rough upbringing; started working hard to earn money immediately after he left secondary school at the age of 16. First, He worked as a bricklayer, then as a security guard, from there he went to learn how to play the piano and started playing for churches before he eventually gained admission into a Nigerian university after 5 years of struggle because he had a father who cared less about him and also had a serious doubt about his paternity. So he had to struggle for himself with little help from his mom. Now, while Ihechi was in school, he made friends both the good and the bad and of course he made some mistakes, but he however learnt from it and moved on.But the most important aspect of his life was when his ideology about life changed after attending an empowerment seminar organized by a youth organization. There and then his life literally changed.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t complete his university education because he had no one to support him. His Mom also had four other younger ones to cater for and as the first son from his mom he had to shoulder the responsibility of catering for his younger ones as well.

So far, Ihechi Williams has put so much effort and commitment to his dream,and gradually it is turning out in the right direction. Though, he might not have gotten to where he wants to be, he is definitely not where he used to be. His life has been a gradual process, slow and steady but certainly on the right part. So if you do not know his story, it will be very easy for you to either cast a judge or criticize him.

As a matter of fact, the major challenge Ihechi is currently facing is getting married. Why? Because virtually all the ladies he has come in contact with are in dire need of security which is the first thing they think about when a man approaches them for marriage. So whenever Ihechi meets a lady that he likes, the lady sizes him up first by looking at his appearance and if she is a little bit impressed, the next question that pops from her mouth is ‘where do you work’ and ‘where do you live’? 

He has observed that what most ladies want to hear is that a guy is working in an Oil Company, Financial Institution, Telecommunication Company, Construction Company et al. Some others don’t even care if he engages in ‘yahoo-yahoo’ as it is called, so long as he is making money, that’s all that matters to them. This is because most ladies don’t want to go through any process but are willing to enjoy the success comes from the process. 

Ihechi being a sincere guy chose to express his thoughts about his dreams and future prospects and what he is currently into because he believes that it is better to be truthful from the onset, than to set false precedence which might hunt him later. He also believes that it is better to be hated for who he is than to be liked for who he is not.  

Unfortunately, his sincerity didn’t go down with most of the ladies that have crossed his part because according to them, he is not up to the standard of the man they desire to get married to.

As soon as they realize that he is not earning up to their expectation, their attitude toward him changes; they stop picking his calls, stop replying his Whatsapp chats and even if they do, they give him this one word kind of response.

Some are even be bold enough to tell him to go and hustle before he can come to ask them out because according to them, they have very high taste and any guy that must marry them must meet up to their high taste as if that was the high taste their own mother had when their father married their mother, that is for those whose parents are still together. So for Ihechi, getting married is like a big puzzle that he is yet to solve. So for him, the majority of the ladies choose to friend zone him rather than getting married to him. As it stands, Ihechi has a couple female friends who are not interested in settling down with him not because they don’t like him but because he has not met up to their financial standard. This shows that majority of the ladies in our present generation are short sighted; they are just so concerned about momentary gratification.

Now, if you are in the position to advise Ihechi, what would your advice be? Should he wait till he becomes successful before he finds a wife or he should he still go ahead and search for a wife till he finds the suitable partner because he is almost giving up on that matter? Should he continue to pursue his dreams or should he just quit to get a job and live a normal life? At least he can get a lady to marry him if he has a stable job since that is what most ladies are yearning for.  

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Daniel Miracle Kemka 

Author/Speaker/Blogger/Life Coach