DIARIES OF TIRED YOUNG AFRICANS

July 11, 2020

DIARIES OF TIRED YOUNG AFRICANS

THE TRUE LIFE JOURNEY OF AN ORPHAN GIRL: CYNTHIA DOUGLAS

We're all born into the world but we don't decide the pains, challenges, agonies and twists of life that we go through.

We're all sum totals of our experiences and circumstances which most times forms our behaviors, characters and attributes.

My name is Enare Ojong Obi popularly known as Cynthia Douglas and here is my story.

I'm originally from Bendeghe Ekim Local Government of Cross River State, Nigeria.

I was born in Delta State, Warri in 1995 and was taken away from my mom in 2002 to reside with my father in Calabar.

My mother's names are Helen Omatseye Kollo from Delta State. She's from the Itsekiri tribe.

Life seemed a bit Okay until I lost my parents. at a young age. There and then everything changed for me. For over ten years, Life has been tough. I mean very tough.

From being an orphan, to dropping out of school , to becoming a young mother at the age of 18. From being a single mother to club girl and a call girl, and also loosing my vision.

It's so painful writing this down but deep down in me I feel I am doing the right thing.

I am not ashamed to write my story because its all in the past and I am no longer in that past. It's nothing but merely a story.

MY RELATIONSHIP EXPERIENCE

My quest for a better livelihood has endeared me into making some irrational decisions, one of which was trying to find a relationship with a man I thought I could love and eventually spend the rest of my life with. But that has not been the case.

Once upon a time there was this girl called Cynthia who moved from Calabar to Lagos due to lack of acceptance and accommodation.

After having a few flings with some guys who could not render any help, she became frustrated. She ended up looking Tattered and unkept without clothes or good food. This prompted her to most times sleep with men so she can feed and have a place to lay her head. That's the harsh reality of life.

At times she would rather spend most of her time at the beach because the serenity seemed comfortable but she was feeling very miserable on the inside.

One faithful day she went to Ajah market to repair her phone and to get her tattered hair washed after a long while. In the process, she talked to the guy washing her hair , about her desire to get a place to stay where she could pay at least a thousand naira per day. The guy left her and went on to inform person in charge of the saloon about her predicament.

On the other hand, there was this other tall guy who was busy making someone's hair, who later approached her. His name is Promise. He talked to her about going out with him and due to the fact that she was not in her right frame of mind, she accepted his proposal without a second thought.

Not quite long after they got out, they had a slight argument and she told him that if helping her would result to sex, he had better let her be but he didn't say a word.

So they both went to the hotel, he booked for a room and later that night he asked her for sex of which she refused which prompted him to heap abusive and insulting words on her which eventually made her to give in since she had not much of a choice.

After then the guy took control of her life and the last she could remember was that she had only 1000 naira in her bank account.

Despite all the verbal abuses she received from this guy, she couldn't do anything because she was helpless.

After a while, he brought the idea of them traveling to Gambia. He told her so many good things about the country but he didn't tell her the consequences along the way. So he was able to raise a little money for their transportation to Gambia.

As soon as they left Nigeria, they got stranded along the way. She had no other option than to go back to having sex for money. After each experience, she'll cry as if her whole world that was crumbling down. Unfortunately, she had to do what she had to do for a while and was able to raise money for their transportation to Gambia. But ever since, she could not help to have this strong dislike for this guy called Promise. They'll always have quarrels and arguments almost all the time.

It's been almost a year they got to Gambia and life has not been any better. He compares her to other girls and always tell her that he's not here for relationship that she should look for money to help her life and worst of all is that he says to her that he's not the kind of guy that'll she'll would want to spend the rest of her life with.

He's nice but unromantic. He's calm but picks up on her easily. Whenever he sees her around other guys he would say something very mean and whenever he wants sex and she refuses, he'll make nasty and derogatory comments that'll provoke her.

Now she's frustrated because she doesn't even have enough money to feed or even get an accommodating of her own. She's practically confused, not knowing what to do with her life. She's contemplating either to stay and patiently wait till they return to Nigeria so she can finally move on or to remain in Gambia while trying to survive.

For quite some time, she tried to stop living the life of a club and a call girl that any man could hook up with at anytime. But the more she tried, the more life became unbearable.

The normal essentials that a girl would need for her personal upkeep such as cream, soap, perfumes, face wipe, clothes, shoes etc and worst of it all, accommodation, these she could no longer afford.

She had to go back to her old ways, because she recounted how she could previously afford these basic necessities when she was going out with men and clubbing all week.

But despite all these, it still did not help her case, rather, life even got worse than it once was. She was always getting into trouble one way or the other and this was never a pleasant experience for her at all.

Currently, she's gradually learning how to live without sleeping with men for money. She's gradually learning how to earn a living legitimately. She's gradually learning to stand on her own. She's gradually cultivating her art skills. She gradually learning to become a better version of herself..

She's learning how to focus, set and accomplish her life goals and objectives, improve herself and develop her capacity for success through the help of her life Coach, Mr. Daniel.

Has it been easy for her? No! Not at all.

Cynthia have had depressing moments severally. She has had suicidal thoughts countless number of times.

Although life has not been easy for her in Gambia, she still hopes to fulfill her dream of becoming an artist and possibly a lawyer.

She has a son back here in Nigeria who she left in the custody of an orphanage home. She misses him so much and she hopes to see him soon.

Cynthia desires to reunite with her family and make them proud as the first child and daughter of her late parents.

Her journey through life has been full of turmoils, upheavals, setbacks and series of challenges.

However, the most important thing is that she has hope. Hope that someday, things will change for the better. Hope that she'll fulfill her dreams. Hope that she'll eventually find true love. Hope that one day she'll make something good out of life. Hope that she'll someday be a help and succor to other less privileged children and orphans like herself. Hope that she'll someday become a voice to the voiceless. Hope that someday she'll be a global icon.

Her name is Enare Ojong Obi popularly known as Cynthia Douglas and this is her story.

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